Time For Me To Shape Up
I can’t deny it, I’ve seriously been slacking recently - pretty much since late February. It would appear that I’ve lost weight, and while it’s impossible to say whether that is fat or muscle (though I suspect maybe some muscle and some water, since I’ve barely been drinking), it’s still not the goal of bulking, and undoubtedly negative progress has been made.
I could make every excuse in the book to try and justify it, but I didn’t start bodybuilding in the first place to make excuses. The bottom line is recently, I’ve just been pretty anxious and fed up, and when I’m like that, I just don’t have much of an appetite at all. So the long and short is, I’ve not been eating nowhere near what I should have been.
When I woke up today, weighed myself, measured my arms and saw they had shrank, I nearly lapsed into my old mindset of: "Right, well, I think I’ll maybe pack it in for a while." Yes, in effect, quit. But then I thought about it, and, no! I won’t do that to myself. I’ve come too far, and promised myself too much to let myself down again.
Today I’ve reminded myself of something: I’m nearly half way there.
Yes, I’ve slacked off. Yes, I’ve struggled. Yes, I’ve thought about quitting when I’ve been a bit fed up. Yes, it’s difficult eating when I don’t feel like it. And yes, it’s not good seeing my results slipping away, knowing full well I have to cover even more ground to regain them. For someone like me and my typical mindset where negativity can come all too easy, that can be the deathblow to any aspiration.
So I’ve done some soul searching, and I’ve decided I’m gonna continue, but, I’m gonna shape up what I’m doing so there’s no conceivable way I can fail myself, other than simply having bad genetics. (i.e.: No excuse. Because let’s face it, when all other factors are in place and fired up to full power, progress is going to be made, however slight.)
I’m going to stop taking the easy option. I’m going to avoid trying to top up my calories using quick, processed microwave meals, which are obviously not the best source of nutrition. I’m going to sit down today, think of all the foods I know for a fact that I can eat on a daily basis, and I’m going to plot a proper diet, with all nutrients coming from good sources.
I will never (or at least, not for the foreseeable) be able to afford to eat prime cut beef and things, but I know for the little money I do have, I can certainly do a hell of a lot better than I have been.
Another thing I’ve discovered is, while I was advised to drink a gallon of milk per day when I started, I mostly drank around 5-6 pints… and even then, quite often (far too often, on hindsight), it played havoc with my stomach, probably robbing me of any nutrients I could’ve hoped to have gotten from anything I consumed that day, as it just went right through me. This happened way to regularly (no pun intended), and I certainly think this has done me no favours whatsoever.
So, I’ll be scaling down the milk to around 3-4 pints, which I can stomach quite well, or, I’ll be seeing if Lactase enzymes can help me.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the struggle of bulking and start thinking: ‘Ugh, I don’t want to live like this forever’, but the truth of the matter is, it’s not forever. Bulking is only a temporary phase where you’ve got to eat like a madman. And, this madman, thankfully, is nearly half way through it. And this has, out of the blue, really put the boot up my arse to make improvements, and do everything to the best of my ability. By slacking, I’m robbing no one but myself, after all.
My intention during this phase is to try to get to around 14 1/2 to 15 true stone (i.e.: taken on a morning weigh-in, on an empty bladder and stomach, etc.), hopefully by June. So, I’ve got the rest of this month, then 2 clear months to achieve that goal… by which time I want to cut during the summer, take it more easy on the eating, (enjoy the 3 days of sunshine we get in Britain) and get out and do some cardio activity, particularly biking and football - to work on losing some body fat.
However long I feel I need to cut for by that point to get my body fat down to a level I’m happy with, I’ll do it. And when the clouds close in, and we’re once again plummeted into the darkness, damp (and for some, possibly the despair) of autumn/winter here in Britain, I’ll probably resume bulking. Time will tell.
I’ll post up a list of the foods I’ve chosen later on today.
