Just One Of Them Days
Today I’m not very happy. And that’s a polite way of saying I’m [expletive] furious; with myself and with bodybuilding. Here’s the story…
For whatever reason, I woke up uncharacteristically early, at 8:00am. I probably didn’t get to sleep ‘til about 3am or later like most nights. But anyway, I felt alright, so rather than roll over and go back to sleep, I got up.
I put some porridge oats in the microwave, and poured a glass of milk, and once everything had been eaten and drank, I went to my dungeon of a garage that is my makeshift gym.
After doing my stretching, it was time to crack on with my squats. After my warm up sets, I moved onto my working sets, with an increase in 5 lb – as per usual. No problem. I un-racked the bar nicely, did my 5 heavy reps, and that was it. Piece of cake, I thought.
Come the second set, I couldn’t un-rack the bar. I tried again – and once again, I couldn’t un-rack it. I shaved some weight off, putting me at the same weight I was lifting the previous week (on Friday), fully expecting this to remedy the issue, and tried again – and still couldn’t un-rack it.
I was frustrated. So frustrated I didn’t bother at all with my other 2 working sets. If I’ve got to lift even less than last time, what’s the point, I thought?
Onto the bench press. Warm up sets out of the way, and onto the working sets – with a 5 lb increase again, as per usual. I got to 3 reps and realised the chances of me completing a fourth, let alone a fifth, were practically zero if I wanted to retain a fully functional windpipe, so I racked the bar.
I didn’t bother attempting to lift this weight again.
I shaved some weight off, taking me back to the weight I lifted the previous Friday. I got to 3 reps, and I was struggling with that weight also. Now more frustrated than ever, I racked the bar, slamming it down hard. (Probably half hoping I broke my equipment so I didn’t have to bother anymore – yeah, I kid you not.)
Once again – I shaved even more weight off, putting me at 2.5kg less than the previous Friday, and off I went again. I STILL struggled. JESUS CHRIST!
My lack of strength made my coordination and control suffer, and in futile attempts to correct the issue with pure determination and defiance, I bounced the weights off my chest, and slung them around rather than lifted them in the controlled way required. So, I didn’t finish my benching, either. If I’ve got to lift even less than last time, what’s the point, I thought?
Onto my dead lift. This exercise today was my saving grace, and the only one in which I actually made gains (and I suspect that’s because I’ve not yet ‘found’ my limit, preferring to take it easy and slow with my lower back.)
That’s it. Workout over. Frustrated, I chucked the 5 pushbikes I have to vacate every time I want to workout back in the garage, slammed the door shut, and hammered the stubborn pins on the garage padlocks in with my bare hands. Oh, I was angry…
So, what happened?
In short, I don’t know. I have a few ideas which I’ll venture in a moment, but for certain, I just don’t know.
This is the first time this has ever happened to me since I began on January 2nd 2008.
It’s thrown me, it’s discouraged me, and it made me angry enough to want to take the heaviest plate I have and smash my equipment up into pieces and call it a day. In fact, I probably would’ve done – but today I probably wouldn’t have been able to lift that, either!
Seriously thing – this has really dented my positive attitude. In a whirlwind few minutes of repeated failure, everything ran through my mind: from wondering if that was it, gains over, to wondering if the whole bodybuilding thing is just one big farce where nobody really makes quick and good gains without steroids, and they all just lie through their teeth about it to mugs like me. You know, like the elephant in the room. “There’s nothing there, it’s all kosher. I wouldn’t lie to you, I swear.”
I don’t know. I just despise failing myself. My whole life has been a battle with a negative mindset, and unfortunately, failing brings out the very worst in me.
Anyway, once my raging anger and bewilderment had subsided somewhat, and I started to think more rationally, a few possible reasons sprang to mind:
- Lack of sleep. Yes, I felt ok when I got up but that doesn’t mean to say I actually was. In truth, I did feel a little less-alert, and less ‘with it’ than I normally do. I also wasn’t as psyched up during my lifting. I didn’t ‘enjoy’ it, like I normally do – even on my first squat set, which was my record.
- Lack of food the previous day. Sunday I was out most of the day, and didn’t eat enough calories or protein. In, all in all, fact I probably ate less than maintenance level. I also had about 6 cokes.
- Creatine. Most people I know who do bodybuilding use Creatine. Is it time for me to use Creatine?
- Equipment limitations. No, this isn’t an excuse, I do have a legitimate claim, partly, – sort of. To do squats, I turn the pins around on my bench facing backwards, and sit on the bench backwards, where my head would be for benching. I ease under the bar, straighten my back, heals elevated on the base of the bench, and then I lift. Of course, the problem here is, I’m basically un racking from being seated. It’s ridiculous, and I need to buy a squat rack ASAP. Maybe I’ve just reached the limit for what was only supposed to be a make-shift technique in the first place? (I definitely, 100% believe this is hampering my squats; but that doesn’t explain my lack of strength in my bench pressing, today.)
- Maybe it’s just one of them days. I don’t like using that as an excuse, because I think there is a reason behind everything – and I didn’t begin bodybuilding to invent excuses. I began to stop inventing excuses. You know what I mean?
Who knows.
Now, the real pisser is, because of my bad workout, I have to eat today and tomorrow for gains which will never come… damn it!!!
The funny thing was, in my immediate frustration I actually went to write “F**K IT!” on my lifting/tracking sheet, but I couldn’t… because my pen ran out…
Typical.
Maybe it really was just one of them days?
